For each issue Editor George Towner wrote short quips about each of those contributors in that issue. These are reprinted in this space on the first page of each article. Since a number of authors contributed multiple articles, George needed to create a different one-liner each time.

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Top Articles - May	Hits
1. The Symbolism of Horns Lisa Barrigan Basker	229
2. English Has No Future Tense Daunna Minnich	82
3. An Outline of Philosophy C. Slezak	63
4. The Case of the Pious Pelican George Towner	58
5. There is No Canal on Guadalcanal (or is there?) Tod Wicks	48

Top Articles - All time	Hits
1. The Symbolism of Horns Lisa Barrigan Basker	18038
2. The Case of the Pious Pelican George Towner	8173
3. Linda's Parisian Burgers Tod Wicks	8048
4. English Has No Future Tense Daunna Minnich	7745
5. Meihem In Ce Klasrum Dolton Edwards	7674

Top Authors - May	Hits
1. George Towner	1005
2. Gareth Penn	999
3. John Cumming	468
4. Tod Wicks	462
5. Neal Wilgus	442

Top Authors - All time	Hits
1. George Towner	134044
2. Gareth Penn	122777
3. Tod Wicks	73881
4. John Cumming	56669
5. Paul W. Healy	49505

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