For each issue Editor George Towner wrote short quips about each of those contributors in that issue. These are reprinted in this space on the first page of each article. Since a number of authors contributed multiple articles, George needed to create a different one-liner each time.

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Top Articles - October	Hits
1. Meihem In Ce Klasrum Dolton Edwards	136
2. The Symbolism of Horns Lisa Barrigan Basker	74
3. The Case of the Pious Pelican George Towner	60
4. Blast From the Past: Another Perspective Tod Wicks	58
5. English Has No Future Tense Daunna Minnich	51

Top Articles - All time	Hits
1. The Symbolism of Horns Lisa Barrigan Basker	34164
2. Meihem In Ce Klasrum Dolton Edwards	18101
3. The Case of the Pious Pelican George Towner	15638
4. English Has No Future Tense Daunna Minnich	15176
5. An Outline of Philosophy C. Slezak	13770

Top Authors - October	Hits
1. George Towner	853
2. Gareth Penn	806
3. Tod Wicks	375
4. Neal Wilgus	327
5. Paul W. Healy	314

Top Authors - All time	Hits
1. George Towner	266009
2. Gareth Penn	234199
3. Tod Wicks	124404
4. John Cumming	103096
5. Paul W. Healy	95495

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