The Ecphorizer
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Large bookstores nowadays have entire sections devoted to diet books. Doctor Hackflesh's Secret Regime. The Miracle Seven-Day Diet. Jane Fundament's Exercise and Diet Book. The Pickles-and-Yeast Diet. Eat Cream Pies and Stay Slim. [quoteright]Besides being the world's best fed society, it seems we are also the most interested in avoiding the consequences of being well fed. In leafing through these books, I have been struck by the fact that their messages are usually expressible in a single sentence, or at least a short list of "Eat" and "Don't Eat" foods. I mean, what can you say about a diet? But no one gets rich selling a single sheet of paper. So the authors and publishers of such books have (pardon the metaphor) fattened their ideas into a form they are not ashamed to peddle for $12.95. The business cries for someone to put an end to all this puffery by putting out, in a single volume, an Anthology of American Diets. Meanwhile, however, I am coming to the rescue. Your Ecphorizer subscription has just been enhanced, at no additional cost, by the addition of Towner's Magic Diet. I will reveal it to you now. While other diet plans may require several lines for their explication, the Magic Diet can be expressed is three short words: Don't eat lunch.
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