The Ecphorizer
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Passion in a garden patch It's easy to find a good cucumber. You can look over the selection of cucumbers without worrying about eye contact. You can fondle a cucumber in public. You can tell how firm it is before it goes home with you. Cucumbers don't leave sweatsox in your lingerie. A cucumber doesn't buy you a present for Valentine's Day and charge it to your account. A cucumber doesn't use the last of the ice cubes and leave the empty tray in the freezer. A cucumber doesn't explain your relationship by saying you're "just friends." A cucumber doesn't care if you're a virgin. A cucumber won't tell his pals you're a virgin. A cucumber won't tell his pals you're not a virgin. A cucumber doesn't ask how good it was. A cucumber doesn't ask if he was the best. A cucumber will wait until you get home. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning. A cucumber doesn't nudge you onto the wet spot in the middle of the night. With a cucumber, you don't have to check in as "Mrs. Cucumber." A cucumber can't count to ten. A cucumber doesn't get more interested in centerfolds than you. A cucumber won't go off to find himself. Cucumbers don't have midlife crises. Cucumbers don't leave you to go back to exwives, exgirlfriends, or exboyfriends. A cucumber doesn't date you just so he can get closer to your sister, or brother. A cucumber will settle down in a relationship only when you do. A cucumber doesn't care if you forget to shave your legs, are showing your roots, or have a zit on your chin. A lady of many accomplishments, and a famous party-giver as well, Elna Tymes has lately become a computer guru and is now writing a bunch of books about bits and bytes. |
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