The Ecphorizer

Mensa News From All Over
Ambrose Fish

Issue #27 (November 1983)

Mensa is an international society, and the same everywhere

From the Mensaklubinformationsblatt, Duckelstatt, Germany: "The regular Monthly Gathering was held Friday evening at 2023 hours, in the Official Meeting Hall. The membership, seated alphabetically, heard an address by Privatdozent Herr Doktor K. Schulz on

Another meeting is planned for after the monsoon season.

the subject of "How to Raise Your IQ Through Order and Discipline." During the 27 minutes allowed for discussion, a total of 16 questions were raised and answered. The membership filed out at 2152 hours."

An item in the current Cahiers du Mensa, Caneton-sur-Oise, France: "The Cheese SIG met again last week, for a discussion, comparison, and tasting of camemberts. Three members were fined for bringing cheeses that were too firm. Complementing the subject under examination was a new Beaujolais from the Departement du Rhône, fresh and innocent but conveying a hint of sensuous abandon. After a preliminary tasting session, the meeting was recessed three hours for lunch and rest. Upon reconvening, the assemblage consumed the reminder of the samples and voted "Abbye de la Bonne Vache" their Cheese of the Month. The meeting was then adjourned for dinner."

A friend forwarded this notice from the Poonagunj Mensa Gazette of India: "About 400 members showed up at V. Mokhtal's apartment Sunday to hear an address by The Honorable Sri M. Moghuljee entitled 'Famous People Who Have Spoken To Me and What I Told Then.' The three-hour talk was well received, after which refreshments were served consisting of Madam Mokhtal's illustrious paprika cookies and curdled goat's milk. Another meeting is being planned after the monsoon season."

The latest from Il Corriere della Mensa Villanitra, Italy: "The Friends and Relations of Mensa held their annual picnic at the farm of the Luigi Mezzarolla family, near Pizzanapoli. We are happy to report 17 new babies since last year's event. Nine members havereturned from America, six of whom are unmarried men. Get busy, Mensa mamas! As usual, there was lots of singing, laughing, and crying as old friends met once more. Mama Seitelini's spaghettello pomodoro was a hit, as always, and the dancing and drinking went on till dawn."

Here is news from the Quangszhou Mensa People's Monthly of China: "The regular meeting of all members took place on the 15th at the Down With Running Dogs Community Hall. Among important matters discussed were the need to purify the letters column of the Monthly from reactionary arguments, and the implementation of the People's Seven Progressive Actions Plan. The Local Secretary presented a short self-criticism, after which all the comrades present demonstrated their hatred of bourgeois imperialist decadence by burning a home computer."

The West Country Mensa Scheduler of Eiderhampton England, reports: "Our last monthly meeting included an exceedingly interesting talk by Marjorie Tweedworth on 'Making Your Own Sensible Flannel Underclothing.' It is a pity we had decided to hold it in Bogsmere Park, as the weather, even in August, can be a bit iffy, and the freezing rain did dampen things a bit. But we soon repaired to Colonel Bagshot's cottage for a nice cup of tea, and when all was said and done a jolly time was had by everybody."

Finally, from the Lotus Valley Mensa Sharing and Caring of Southern California comes this note: "We had a warm and wonderful drug tasting last month, at which everybody opened their hearts and their stashes. There were no overdoses this time, so we were able to concentrate on sharing a very mellow space. After all our minds had been freed from reality we took off our clothes and played video games." 

-Cartoon by Burt Schmitz

International bon vivant Ambrose Fish presents us this month with gems culled from his collection of odd little Mensa newsletters.  Those who know the countries and cultures involved, however, claim that his clippings sound somewhat fishy.

More Articles by Ambrose Fish

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