The Ecphorizer

Mensa Qualifying Examination
contributed by Jorel Stallones

Issue #08 (April 1982)

INSTRUCTIONS: Read all questions carefully. Answer each question. Use reverse side of this sheet for your answers.

Time limit - 4 hours. Begin now.

Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be concise, brief, and specific.

You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System. Prove your thesis.

Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

There is a red phone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its sociopolitical effects, if any.

Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

Take a position for or against the truth. Prove the validity of your position.

Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

Define the Universe. Give three examples.

- Captured on the Xerox circuit by Jorel Stallones 

Stallones reports that he did well on the Mensa Qualifying Examination until he got to the part where he was supposed to find a piano under his chair.  There wasn't one, so he failed.

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