Erewhon, PA (LEAK) — Authorities today reported no new leads in the mysterious disappearance of the Invisible Man. "Contrariwise, there is a new lack of information in the case," said Detective Jack Lost, who is in charge of the search. "Vital records and documents have turned up missing and in fact, we're no longer sure what the Invisible Man's name is — or was," Lost said.
The missing person, who may be suffering from amnesia, was last seen at his house over a week ago by the maid who comes three times a week to see to his needs. "He looked pale and worn out," said Bobby Sue Flooski, "and almost ready to fade away. He was just a shadow of his former self, but I put it down to overwork and thought no more of it at the time."
The Invisible Man first came to public notice five years ago when he perfected a secret formula which alters cellular structure in such a way as to allow light to pass freely through the body. Believed to be a distant relative of H G Wells, Inviz (as he's familiarly known) became a popular figure on TV talk shows and made several lecture tours for Alcoholics Anonymous. It was a national joke last year when Inviz lost his voice and had to communicate through notes and sign language.
"We're not sure what to make of it," Lost said, "but somehow all the computer records relating to Inviz have been erased and even the hard- copy files have been misplaced. At this point, we don't even have a picture of the Invisible Man to give out to police agencies and the general public. Whether or not this is a deliberate act or just a coincidence is not clear at the present time."
Lost found a note written by Inviz just before his disappearance, however, which could be a vital clue in the case. "Unfortunately," Lost said, "we're once again temporarily blocked by the fact that the note was written in invisible ink."
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