The Ecphorizer

Calendar of Events for the Month of Mensarary
Susan Packie

Issue #37 (September 1984)

[quoteright]All events listed are within jogging distance of Silly Valley.

 Men. 1
annual pi-eating contest
The winner will officially be declared a nonsquare.
 Men. 5
bicycle trip to San Jose
Does anyone know the way?
 Men. 10
investigation of Cannery Row
There is a rumor that John Steinbeck left some fish (?) fetuses here. If possible, the Moral Majority would like us to flush them out. An interview with the author will close the day's events.
 Men. 15
tour of gay bars in St. Frank
Let's be honest about it. We're all dying to know if the Golden Grass City deserves its reputation as the homosexual capital of the United States. What better place to ask than here? I hope we'll be able to find one or two.
 Men. 20
drag racing between Cupertino and Sunnyvale
It is reported that more traffic fatalities occur here than in any other area of the country.
Time: evening rush hour
 Men. 25
job interviews at computer firms in Silly Valley
 Men. 26
instruction on how to fill out unemployment forms
 Men. 30
demonstration of Sanforized University campus against storage of nuclear waste in the basement of St. Frank Regional Mensarary headquarters
 Men. 31
last rites
This is a one-time-only event. Don't miss it!

The above activities are subject to cancellation in the event of nuclear attack. This event will certainly be of more than local interest!

Contributor Profile

Susan Packie

Susan Packie teaches anthropology at Malcolm-King College, which is located in America's premier anthroplogical site, New York City. She has had her work published in more than 80 magazines.