The Ecphorizer

Bumpersticker Bridge Goes Bananas
Gareth Penn

Issue #31 (March 1984)

Bumperstickers for every outrage

First it was happy faces. Then it was "––s do it with ––". Then it  was "I –– it." Now it's hearts. "I (heart) NY," "I (heart) SF," "I (heart) this, that, and the other thing." The curmudgeons reported in with "I (skull and crossbones) ––." Recently, I have begun running across new variations on this theme. They're all based on the suits found in a deck of cards. I call this new fad Bumpersticker Bridge. Any number can play. Here are a few that I have recently seen on bumpers, along with my surmises as to what the legend says about the driver.

 Bumpersticker Identifies Driver As
 I Seals
A Newfie
 I Spaniels
A Retired Veterinarian
 A Candlestick Park Groundskeeper
 I Intend ane
Someone who obstinately refuses to join the Society for Creative Anachronism
Someone who obstinately refuses to subscribe to The Ecphorizer.
 A patron of those GAS FOOD places they advertise along the freeway 

Cardsharp Gareth Penn is also a traveler, linguist, and opera buff.  When not on the road he lives in Marin County.

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Contributor Profile

Gareth Penn

Gareth Penn is probably best known as the greatest amateur Zodiac sleuth after his many articles in The Ecphorizer that lead to the identity of Zodiac. However, Penn is much more than that as he has a keen inquisitive mind that finds an interesting story in just about anything from a memorial to a little-known soldier in a park in Vallejo, CA, to his notes about animals, to plumbing the depths of the limerick. Penn's prolific pen is evident in that he has made a contribution to every issue of The Ecphorizer up through Issue #33 (and counting!).