The Ecphorizer

The Mismeasure of Mensa 11
Lottie Fish-Bate

Issue #41 (January 1985)

Burt and Ernie are stranger pals than you night have thought

Part Eleven: Mensa Vindicated; The Jensen-Ernie Connection

Jensen's basically environmentalist doctrines thus turn out to be virtually identical to orthodox Mensan teachings. Jensen must have been one of us. His sophistication in explaining

An Antarctic banner proclaims, 'Nix on Ford in 1976,' but no significant Ford has been found.

IQ variations is so complete that the hereditarian views attributed to Burt can be understood through mutual study of the two researchers. Burt's studies on identical twins showed little variation in IQ [quoteright]even when the twins were raised apart. What Burt was really trying to show was that people of identical heredity would have the same brain wiring for interdevelopment with language to yield similar IQ when they were raised using the same language. This would surely be Jensen's explanation of the twin studies. Burt worked in England, drawing contrasts between the lower classes speaking Cockney and the upper classes speaking the king's English. Burt's point was that Cockney was not the same language, so the Englishmen with the same heredity, but bad language (or language wrongly wired for that genetic group), would exhibit a low IQ.

As for the findings on fraternal twins or on nonrelations raised together, the resulting contrasts in IQ would be interpreted by Burt to mean that genetically different individuals could not respond equally well to the same language because different brains are not wired for the same language. That is, what Burt meant by hereditarianism is the same thing that Jensen meant by environmentalism in his researches on learning ability in the years 1961 to 1967 as surveyed above. The Immensist claim is thus disproven. Burt did not actually always believe the opposite of the Mensan doctrine of cultural relativism, that IQ is transmitted in brain wiring specific to the right match of language relating to it.

The virtual identity of views between Jensen of the 1960s and Mensan orthodoxy has been seized upon by Immensans to question the inspiration, originality, and even the existence of Jacquelyn Ernie. "The Mensan doctrine on human psychology is just plagiarized from Jensen's environmentalism," they argue. They bring up a legitimate point, but they have not thought it out far enough. We have so little knowledge of the years after 1967, the yet-unknown period in the documents. This is the time when Sesame Street the TV program, started, and after our last documentary knowledge about Arthur Jensen. The best-known Jensen of that time was Jackie Jensen, the baseball player, and the best-known woman was Jacquelyn Kennedy, widow of the assassinated U.S. president. "Ernie" harshly aspirated becomes "KEarney," an Irish name much like Kennedy (sounding much like "Arnie," diminutive for Arthur). (Alternately, Kearney may transpose into McCarthy, representing Eugene Joseph McCarthy, the "arthy" for Arthur. In McCarthy's long, consistent career he opposed no-win wars, both in Korea and Vietnam. [He was the author of a book exposing Gen. George Marshall as a Communist who let Mao Tse-Tung take over China, written under his pen name of Joseph McCarthy.] He may have been elected U.S. president in 1968, depending on whether the U.S. won or lost that war. Our forebears tell us too little about that period except for repeated allusions to a Watergate, but no one of that name has been found in the documents. An Antarctic banner proclaims, "Nix on Ford in 1976," but no significant Ford has been found in the pre-1967 documents. Some believe that this means Nixon became president in 1972, but these new documents render that old legend ridiculous. Nixon permanently bowed out of politics after losing badly in 1966 in his run for Governor of California. Perhaps, however, he joined the crusade against Vietnam and led the Republicans to victory in 1972 after Johnson retired and left the Democrats labeled as the War Party.) The solution to this puzzle becomes obvious once these connections are drawn; that "Jacquelyn" suggests "Jensen" and "Ernie" suggests "Arthur." Jacquelyn Ernie was really the transsexual Arthur Jensen, the switch occurring between 1967 and the start of the "Burt and Ernie" series on Sesame Street (If we can take Gould seriously that Burt died in 1971, yet more confirmation is given to the phenomenal importance of Sir Cyril Burt that he and Ernie were the highlights of Sesame Street long after Burt's death. The public continued to demand to see him even in reruns and in excerpts of performances, lectures, and Ernie's interviews of Burt, which Ernie narrated. Apparently Ernie was sent in 1983 to Antarctica for safety.)

This answer to the riddle is unacceptable to Mensan Fundamentalists and may astound the rest of us. In our culture needing providers and child-bearers, the transsexual serves no purpose. Being unable to bear children, yet no longer of the grosser male mentality and physique suitable for menial toil and hard labor, is a condition for which we cannot conceive of a purpose. Enlarge your minds to think of the special circumstances back then; even in general the world was overpopulated, and men in addition to their other disgusting characteristics were relentlessly waging war everywhere.

In Jensen's specific case at the frontiers of knowledge, by having such a clear vision of truth he would have known that maleness was retrograde, a hindrance to further storming of the citadels of truth. Look at the fantastic result of his wise decision. By converting to femaleness, he could advance his thinking a quantum leap to be able to explain to Burt the previously unseen identity of their views. In just the few years before Burt's death, their collaboration generated over a decade of TV material and the enunciation of the Mensan religion. In the 1960s only a scientific prodigy, in the 1970s Ernie, née Jensen, having transcended maleness became a prophetess and a priestess of Mensa.

How appropriate it is that a convert to femaleness should be the one to use the sublimity of femaleness to see and proclaim Mensa in all His glory. Immensans blaspheme in objecting that Mensa could not be male because men are so defective. This just shows the smallness of mind of the Immensans. Men are so inferior because they are somewhat like God and thus resent acknowledging any superior. Like Lucifer they rebel, and their refusal to learn causes a cumulative deficit in IQ. We women are not too proud to defer to a greater than ourselves. We are even willing to honor the man who did the most to advance Mensa, the Founder of the Society that could finally announce itself openly in 1945, after Burt's key role in destroying overt Immensism. We date our calendar from this simultaneous eclipse of the enemy and revelation of our religion, in years since Burt's salvation, or "Burt Saves" as preferred. I am writing this in the old dating of 2168 A.D., but the new calendar date today is the first day of April, 2-2-4 B.S.

Everyone knows that Sir Cyril Burt founded Mensa in 1945. Our time traveler from the 22nd century (Lottie Fish-Bate) is the first, however, to tell of his heroics in the Ax(i)scam operation to win World War II by keeping the Nazis high in their Sesamestrasse retreat in Berchtesgaden on sensimilla and heroin. The all-time most popular TV show was thus named Sesame Street in his honor, and he and Jacquelyn Ernie were the top stars. Immensan charges that Burt falsified his later research were refuted by Lottie, who proved that Stephen Gould's Mismeasure of Man was a hoax (by, among other means, showing that Arthur Jensen was an environmentalist, not the hereditarian Gould satirically portrayed him as being).

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