The Ecphorizer

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Three baseball umpires were relaxing in the locker room after the game. Presently they got around to discussing the various philosophies underlying their judgments out on the playing field.

"I call 'em like they are," said Frank Bacon, a realist with strong scientific leanings.

"You're being naive -- nobody can do that," countered George "Bishop" Berkeley. "You have to be satisfied with my method. I call 'em like I see 'em."

Manny Kant (the third umpire) had been dozing, but he now roused himself from his slumbers "You're both wrong," be stated. "When I stand out on the playing field, that ball ain't nuthin' until I call it."

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