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Bathroom humor from the Xerox circuit
[line] [quoteleft]Anyone who has worked in a large office has probably seen the sheets of humor usually brought in by salesman, that are copied and passed from desk to desk. Typically in their 50th Xerox incarnation, they are nearly illegible compilations of bathroom jokes, orHolds left thumb with right hand, wets pants. worse. Doug Chang captured a prime specimen recently and sent it to us. After some soul searching, not to mention a staff project to clean up its terminology, we hereby offer it as a bit of classic Americana. It purports to be a recent study of psychological types encountered in a men's restroom Obviously, the “researcher” was of the male persuasion.
Holds left thumb with right hand, wets pants.
Sociable Man
Joins friends in trip to restroom whether he has to go or not, figures it doesn't cost anything.
Excitable Man
Shorts are twisted around so he cannot find opening in front; rips shorts apart.
Crosseyed Man
Stands at center urinal, goes in one at left, flushes one at right.
Timid Man
Cannot go if anyone is watching; flushes urinal is if he were finished, comes back later.
Indifferent Man
If all urinals are occupied, he uses sink.
Clever Man
"No hands, ma": Shows off by looking around, adjusting tie; wets shoes.
Absent-minded Man
Opens vest, pulls out tie, wets pants.
Frivolous Man
Plays stream up, down, and across urinal; attempts to hit flies. [see Editor's note at right]
Disgruntled Man
Thought he had to go; waits a while gives up, leaves, muttering to himself.
Patient Man
Stands very close, waiting for incredibly long time; reads paper with free hand.
Embarrassed Man
Flushes urinal so girlfriend in Women's Room won't hear him going.
Impatient Man
Always in a hurry; pees in hip picket of man ahead of him in line
Childish Man
Aims directly into pool at bottom of urinal; amused by splashing and bubbles.
Drunk Man
Withdrawn Man
Puts foot in urinal, pees down leg to prevent calling attention to himself by splashing.
Tough Man
Instead of shaking it dry, whacks it against side of urinal.
Really Tough Man
Whacks it against side of urinal, chips porcelain.
He was a teenage math whiz in the 80s but that never stopped him from enjoying a good off-color joke! Editor's Note In Amsterdam's Shiphol Airport, men's urinals apparently have fake flies etched into the porcelain to help improve aim. This is part of a larger problem that has plagued men ever since humanity has built "sanitary" facilities - even before outhouses were conceived, that of proper aim. Here is one site that takes a tongue-in-cheek note of the problem.
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He was a teenage math whiz in the 80s but that never stopped him from enjoying a good off-color joke!
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Editor's Note
In Amsterdam's Shiphol Airport, men's urinals apparently have fake flies etched into the porcelain to help improve aim.
This is part of a larger problem that has plagued men ever since humanity has built "sanitary" facilities - even before outhouses were conceived, that of proper aim. Here is one site that takes a tongue-in-cheek note of the problem.