The Ecphorizer
Ballad of Unrequited Love |
Burt Schmitz |
Issue #18 (February 1983)
Requite! Requite! Beneath the bleak
My groin doth ache My tears to shed
to underwrite. A wreath of tire
To mark my head.
And spangs my heart
Besmooched bestride And my bier
Gasps grip my gizzard Shall bottled be
Deep weeps inside! But wiser coors
Dead soldiered me.
But saline shall
My lone love weep; My eyes raise up
Peeps deep the creep What do I see?
Of restless sleep, Erected now
And though I cheaply My senses be!
Reap my keep
Intestickles shall Yon shrimpen girl
Thwart my sleep! with sardine bait!
Come! Let us fling
Where odontious A muddly mate!
odalisques abound -
O toothsome morsels, The tentman knows
Where to be found? We too must fade -
Wine, women, song
Besearched besmirched of life he made.
From bay to shore
Searched Emery's ville Beshrimpen she
With Al's visor. A Mensan not -
But plain Jane he
Where Homer Khayyaked A pepper pot!
With his booze
On seas of ruby, yet And down I sink
Leslie's, ooze. So wetly west
Bekelped with hoodwink
But nought did aught on her breast.
But mud befind
To feverly cleaver My love requited,
My burning mind! My groin doth ache!
From overplaying
Bereft the sun fogged At the rake.
smogly red
To set o'er my love Ah, now the question
that had gone dead. From above
Alone and muddied evermore To die of unrequited love?
I sank me down
by golden shore. A bee or not a bee?
I'll take -
The pot of honey
For my cake.
Tho Herpiated you become
Far better than die
of chaste boredom.
My groin doth ache My tears to shed
to underwrite. A wreath of tire
To mark my head.
And spangs my heart
Besmooched bestride And my bier
Gasps grip my gizzard Shall bottled be
Deep weeps inside! But wiser coors
Dead soldiered me.
But saline shall
My lone love weep; My eyes raise up
Peeps deep the creep What do I see?
Of restless sleep, Erected now
And though I cheaply My senses be!
Reap my keep
Intestickles shall Yon shrimpen girl
Thwart my sleep! with sardine bait!
Come! Let us fling
Where odontious A muddly mate!
odalisques abound -
O toothsome morsels, The tentman knows
Where to be found? We too must fade -
Wine, women, song
Besearched besmirched of life he made.
From bay to shore
Searched Emery's ville Beshrimpen she
With Al's visor. A Mensan not -
But plain Jane he
Where Homer Khayyaked A pepper pot!
With his booze
On seas of ruby, yet And down I sink
Leslie's, ooze. So wetly west
Bekelped with hoodwink
But nought did aught on her breast.
But mud befind
To feverly cleaver My love requited,
My burning mind! My groin doth ache!
From overplaying
Bereft the sun fogged At the rake.
smogly red
To set o'er my love Ah, now the question
that had gone dead. From above
Alone and muddied evermore To die of unrequited love?
I sank me down
by golden shore. A bee or not a bee?
I'll take -
The pot of honey
For my cake.
Tho Herpiated you become
Far better than die
of chaste boredom.
Moral - Tis better to have freeloved and loused
Than never to have frisked at all!
Self-described bum Burt Schmitz is a former cartoonist, teacher, and aerospace engineer. He lives in Silicon Valley.
Contributor Profile
Burt Schmitz
Burt Schmitz has drawn a number of covers for The Ecphorizer as well as providing interior art. He recently worked on a large illustrated tourist map for a Silicon Valley promotion firm.