The Ecphorizer

Letters - Issue 42

Issue #42 (February 1985)

Dear Editor:

How could you fall for the backbiting and slander of my sister, Dolly Jayal-Bate? Is she the one who got you derisively sneering at Mismeasure of Mensa as "MoM?"

In any case, the final decision was with you male chauvinist pigs to axe MoM. I'll bet this last episode you're running this month will be only half the usual length - you'll cut out the heart of my assault on male monstrousness.

I'll resurrect MoM, whatever it takes, even if I have to start my own SIG [special interest group'/>. I'll probably have to precensor myself to get past the editors, so expect a new Lottie, restricted to philosophy and science topics (the new scope of the Philosophy SIG's Synapse, for example) instead of my usual social and sexual sarcasm. I'll probably change my name, but you'll be able to recognize the new name because I'll keep the same number of letters. (Fourteen, including five for my new middle name, which I'll not use to confuse Immensan spies. Readers of The Ecphorizer will know to expect nine letters.) I may even change the title to 22nd Century Science.

Worst of all, I may have to betray my Mensan faith. To get published I may have to take a thousand-in-one shot with the Immensan Society for Psychical Endeavors I've sneaked into. MoM has already been 99% turned down by the Infernal Legionnaires.) The Thirty-Niner Society wouldn't even let me in, claiming that my mind wasn't mannish (spatial-mechanical) enough.

Truth to tell, you Ecphorizer editors have been more open than I've found other men to be. I've struck great blows for my causes, which would otherwise be known only to the future. I expect you'll even announce in The Eck where I manage to revive MoM.

Demurely yours, as always,
Lottie Fish-Bate

Actually, we (current editor and [female'/> assistant editor, and most recent former editor) had decided to give MoM (my casual abbreviation for Mismeasure) a vacation before Lottie submitted Part Fourteen. Personally, I thought that Part Thirteen, which Lottie had already sent me, would have made an eminently suitable final chapter in The Ecphorizer but Lottie rather insisted on substituting this snarling, half-length Part Fourteen instead. Propriety prohibits me from commenting on the great blows that Lottie delivers. As for the future, I don't have crystal balls.

So, dear readers, there you have both sides of the argument, and, just as you must do with politicians, you will have to make up your own minds who you want to believe. To quote at least one American politician, "I am not a crook." Or liar, as the case may be. --Ed. 

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