The Ecphorizer

Comes Now the Plaintiff
Jerry McCann

Issue #03 (November 1981)


YOU CAN'T LOSE THEM ALL... WELL, CAN YOU?

After a day with the thoroughbreds,
I'm hep as the races end,
Why the dog, alone among quadrupeds
Is known as man's best friend!

 

YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION

As I watch my selections lumbering past,
Each of then pretty far back,
I remember it said the track was 'FAST,'
I should have bet on the track!

 

LOOK OPPORTUNITY, WILL YOU PLEASE STAY OFF MY BACK

My alarm rings with a note of exhultation,
I've a rendezvous with Destiny to keep;
Day of challenge, deep concern and dedication;
So I just salute and hurry back to sleep!

 

NO DOGGE IS AN ISLAND

When Rover moves his bone from field to road
Man, in his arrogance, is wont to scold;
But then, to cool Fort Knox from Mother Lode,
Man, still chastising Rover, moves his gold!

 

CURRICULUM

My son's bid for the car keys is so moving,
It can sometimes my cool logic overrule;
His handling of the Snow-job is improving;
I think they give a course on it at school.

 

ZILCH IN THE HOLE

When the going gets rough, I can borrow, I know,
But I hesitate always, in dread of
The kind of advice that I'll get with the dough,
Or, horribili dictu, instead of!

 

 

THERE'S ALWAYS GOTTA BE A NICE GUY IN THE BUNCH!

As frequent host I'd like to toast
That guest who's most polite;
Suave, poised, exact, with charm and tact,
(Whom I didn't, in fact, invite!)

 

ONLY HER HAIRDRESSER KNOWS!

Pierre works magic with each separate tress
And hypnotizes every wayward sprig;
At last steps back and cries: "Voila, success!
Enfin, Madame
, It looks just like a wig!

 

SEMPER PARATUS

Grooming is no problem, is it,
When you're bald of pate?
For that unexpected visit,
just hold your eyebrows straight.  

Contributor Profile

Jerry McCann




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