The Ecphorizer

U.S.A. Annexes Canada
Susan Packie

Issue #33 (May 1984)



In a surprise move yesterday, United States military forces crossed into Canada and declared that the nation would henceforth [quoteright'/>be officially considered an American territory.

To back up this claim, cruise missiles were paraded around the circumference of Canada and "The Day After" was shown in all major movie theaters. Any connection between the two occurrences was vehemently denied by unnamed, high-placed U.S. officials.

Antinuclear groups who attempted to obstruct the passage of the forces were treated to a thirty-minute atomic display during which the earth rumbled and caved in, blinding lights flashed through the sky, and deer herds collapsed and died.

More importantly, citizens of Quebec were assured that they could continue to speak French after the nation lost its independent status. An Air Force colonel was quoted as saying "No importa."

This excursion provided a unique opportunity to test some of the most advanced weaponry yet devised, including laser blazers and germ extermination. Unfortunately, several weapons misfired, eliminating parts of the Northwest Territories that most people did not even realize existed.

A typical man-on-the-street, when asked for his reaction to this daring move to make his country part of America, replied in a stunned voice "But we are an American territory!"

So much for the quality of geography lessons in the elementary schools.

Contributor Profile

Susan Packie

Susan Packie teaches anthropology at Malcolm-King College, which is located in America's premier anthroplogical site, New York City. She has had her work published in more than 80 magazines.




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The Choice
Paul Healy

Issue #33 (May 1984)

I sat and gazed across the surging sea,
   And watched the waves break slowly to and fro,
And thought, when we have ceased to be
   This ocean will remain. But is it so?
It may not be - time's steady, tireless hand
   Will work unceasingly to empty it at last;
These watery depths will one day be dry land,
   Just as they were in some far distant past.
When that day comes will any life remain
   To look upon the peaks eons have wrought,?
Or will a hotter sun shine on a plain
   Devoid of life? A most unpleasant thought.
Our planet's fate is one that we may choose.
   The game is our to win - or ours to lose!

Contributor Profile

Susan Packie

Susan Packie teaches anthropology at Malcolm-King College, which is located in America's premier anthroplogical site, New York City. She has had her work published in more than 80 magazines.




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