The Ecphorizer

Letters - Issue 21

Issue #21 (May 1983)

Dear Editor:

I see from an earlier ECPHORIZER (November '82) that Skinner limericks are still around. These date back at least 25 years, come in two parts, and have a choice of two punch lines for the second part:

There was an old letch named Skinner Took a sweet young thing out to dinner; They sat down to dine And by a quarter to nine It was inner - not the dinner, Skinner.

There was a young man named Topper Took the same sweet young thing out to supper; He plied the same line And by a quarter to nine It was upper - not the supper, not Tupper, but Skinner again.

Burt Schmitz
Cupertino, CA

Dear Editor:

I have been following your disintery on cucumberology with great interest on account of I once knew a girl who was on a diet and ate a lot of cucumbers. She told me it was on account of a diet book that showed where the average dish had 300 calories but a cucumber only had 20 calories, and she had to eat 15 cucumbers to get 300 calories. I guess it was true because her belly was just swelled way up something awful, and she said it was caused from too many cucumbers, and I guess that many cucumbers all at once would give a girl the bloat.

Warty Gherkin

PS: I have talked to some other girls who also like cucumbers a whole lot, but agree there isn't much nourishment in them. (To find out for myself, I went to the liberry and looked in a copy of "8th Edition Brand Name Calorie Counter and Diet Guide Over 2,000,000 Copies Sold," Success Publications, North Miami Beach, FL 33160, 1977. Sure enough, on page 53 it says: "Cucumbers, 8 inch, 15 calories." I guess some of these women really do know their cucumbers! The girl I knew must have liked her cucumbers bigger than the average). 

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