The Ecphorizer

Letters - Issue 48

Issue #48 (August 1985)

Dear Editor:

Gareth Penn libelously accused me of giving birth to that bad pun, "Ecks in one back seat," in your May issue. I didn't. I do, however, demand the right to rebut...or something. Therefore if any of the following have redeeming social merit, I'll claim them. If not, please attribute them to Gareth.

Fishermen: Don't put all your salmon eggs in one base kit.
Hackers: Don't put all your specs in one diskette.
Joggers: Don't put all your agues in one big sweat.
Harpies: Don't put all your nags in one black snit.
Superfly: Don't put all your specs in one crass blot.
Chefs: Don't put all your pigs in one bake set.
Gamblers: Don't put all your jacks in one cash bet.
Traffic reporters: Don't put all your wrecks in one big gazette.
Butchers: Don't put all your necks in one brisket.
Comedians: Don't put all your gags in one bad skit.
Naval architects: Don't put all your skegs in one ski boat.
Smokers: Don't put all your flicks in one BIC set.
Meteorologists: Don't put all your smogs in one black spot.
Forgers: Don't heist all your checks in one Brinks plot.
Pandora: Don't put all your plagues in one casket.
Travelers: Don't put all your togs in one bag set.
Kennel keepers: Don't claim all your dogs are one-bark pets.
Lawmen: Don't catch all your yeggs in one big SWAT.
Hot rodders: Don't trust all your mags to one brake set.
Antique dealers: Don't put all your tags in one brass cot.
 
Thank you for the opportunity to defend myself against this calumny.

Burt Schmitz
Cupertino, CA
 
Burt: Don't put all your yuks in one bag of tricks. [Editor'/>

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We'll Ever Go A-Roving
Malcolm Scott Mac Kenzie

Issue #48 (August 1985)

We'll ever go a-roving
under rays of sun and moon,
with castled heirs, in drinking clubs
we're the ladies' silver spoon.
For the sword is valiant pleasing
and the sheath judicious hold;
the heart with spirit from the soul
strikes love in Lady Bold.
Though the night is deep for loving
and the jealous dawn is born,
the ladies' cries inspire the hour:
we'll return to the roving morn. 

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Malcolm Scott Mac Kenzie

He sends us poetry from the unpoetic depths of Los Angeles. The ability of the human spirit to transcend the mundate is truly marvelous.




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